Monday, May 9, 2011


I distinctly remember when I was a kid, for a few months at least, having an irrational fear of quicksand! Why you might wonder would a 12 year old from Queens, New York with a homemaker mom and a retailer dad have any reason to even think about quicksand much less be terrified by its mere existence? Well, all these years later, I still know why: #1, it was always portrayed in the movies (from whence the whole of my quicksand knowledge was drawn) as surreptitiously lurking out there, hidden in plain sight and #2, of course, the slow and painless way it would trap the hero, unrelentingly pulling him down, down, down until his suffocating fear yielded to real life-ending suffocation. The last month has been like living in quicksand for me. I am stuck up to my waist - not sinking any further but unable to move to get myself out of it either. Each day starts much as they always did...up at 6am, putter a bit, wash, dress and have something to eat while listening to those crazy guys on the radio. But then what? Several people have suggested it's like an unexpected vacation, at first. Well, not really. I do spend 4 to 5 hours on applications but after that it feels too cavalier to do almost anything else. Like I'm on that vacation rather than unemployed. So I surf the web, watch tv, walk to the grocery. Unproductive. Unengaged. Emotional quicksand.

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